kathy and the politics of school cafeterias

Do you remember how the cafeteria was back in high school? It was visual evidence of the seemingly insurmountable barriers that divided the “clicks” that made up the entire social structure of your high school hierarchy. It was so long ago, right?

Now, we Shi Xia teachers eat our lunch everyday in the cafeteria. Granted, many adults eat in cafeterias at their work. This is not unusual at all. Perhaps it is the very fact that we are in an actual school, but I cannot help but compare the whole experience with the way school lunches used to be all those years ago (Who am I kidding? It was only four years ago for me).

You fill your tray with food and make your way to the table that you know you are supposed to sit at. Take a look around and you see everything as it is supposed to be. The jocks (read: the gym teachers, clad in their adidas track suits and trainers and a general "I rule the school" air about them) are at their table. The nerds (read: the computer teachers) are sitting with the nerds (read: the science and math teachers). And of course the popular girls (read: the young, hip art and music teachers) are together at their table. Then off at her own table is the foreign exchange student who is different and doesn’t speak the language (read: the foreign English teacher, i.e. yours truly).

Now, first let me say, I’m not saying, “poor little me, I’m so lonely and no one wants to eat with me”. I’m just pointing out that, even as adults we naturally tend to stick to our kind, and quite frankly, I am different and conversation would inevitably be problematic. So I’ve had several lunches alone. For the most part I’m perfectly fine with this. Usually after three hours of teaching 150 rowdy middle-schoolers a bit of peaceful solace is a welcome friend.

But one day in my first week at the school one of the popular girls sat at my table and introduced herself. Her (English) name was Kathy, she was 25 and she was a seventh grade English teacher. Kathy was that cool, stylish I-don’t-care-what-the-other-girls-think-I’m-gonna-sit-with-the-loner girl that everyone loved in high school. We had a pleasant conversation about my getting settled into the school and the Chinese culture. We exchanged numbers and she let me know that if I needed anything I could call her. Now we didn’t necessarily hit it off splendidly and become life-long friends that first day, but I certainly appreciated her sweetness. I tucked her number away and chalked it up to a nice, if not entirely wholehearted, attempt at doing the right thing.

The next day at lunch she surprised me by sitting with me again, then yet again the next day. Our conversations didn’t always come easily. I’ve since learned that she is actually as shy as I am, a fact that makes her effort to sit with me that first day all the more touching – I certainly know how hard it is to do something like that if you aren’t a naturally outgoing person. But somewhere along the way we became friends. Since that first day at lunch we have had several lunches together and several great conversations, we have eaten dinner out with friends, gone dancing and travelled around the Guangdong province. But more about these things in later posts. Suffice it to say, La Vache Espagnole has a great Chinese friend and her name is Kathy.